This is an actual exchange between an Amazon customer and their support. That’s the kind of thing that makes excellent customer support.
The fun part below to ease readability.
Customer: Tracking shows delivered but shipment not received
Amazon: Warmest greetings [customer] my name is Thor.
Customer: Greetings, Thor. Can I be Odin?
Amazon: Odin, Father, How art thy doing on this here fine day?
Customer: Thor, my son. Agony raises upon my life.
Amazon: This is outrageous! Who dares defy the All Father Odin! What has occurred to cause this agony?
Customer: I am afraid the book I ordered to defeat our enemies has been misplaced. How can we keep Valhalla intact without our sacred book.
Amazon: This is blasphemy! Wherever this book has been taken to, I shall make it my duty to get it back to you! I fear it is Loki, but I dare not blame him for such things. I shall have your fortune returned to you and thereafter we can begin to create a new quest in order to get the book back to you.
Customer: Very well my son.
Amazon: Allow me some time to round up my allies and complete this please Father.
Customer: Do it for me Thor, but most importantly do it for the mortals whose destiny (and grades) rely on this book.
Amazon: Alas, the treasure has been returned to you. You now need to reinstate the book into your archive so that you may yet receive it soon. I shall have the Valkyrie deliver it to you as fast as their wings can move.
Customer: Ok so roleplay aside I have my money back and I reorder the book?
Amazon: haha yes I have refunded you and you need to reorder the book.
